Catching up with MJ Willis
“The highway doesn’t stay clear for long”
It is a privilege and a sweet ache, to be an artist. As a songwriter and musician, the vulnerability and effort required to learn and share is a full-body, full-soul, experience.
Even when we make our art a priority, some fundamental human need inevitably attempts to steal the spotlight, and our energy is diverted. For artists that may not struggle at all with “road rage,” an equally powerful emotion can crop up and ignite a similar rage when our craft, our soul’s flow, is neglected for too long. We look for those moments when we can sneak in some immersive creation and we squeeze every last ounce of magic out of those golden stretches. But the highway doesn’t stay clear for long. The twenty-minute opportunity is . . .
*ping (I just got a text from my daughter)
. . . Like I was saying, every artist shares this burning ache if we continually neglect our excitement, suppress our inspiration, and back-burner our offerings to the world.
In some seasons of life we feel like we are holding our breath (I know, so many metaphors).
This year has been one of those seasons. It is those silent drives in the car, the ten minutes in the garage before I go inside, the time in the shower, my mind spinning as I fold laundry, where a lot of the creation happens for me. When I carve out the time, finally, to focus, write, experiment, and record – my world comes into alignment. I find balance within. I’m my true, full, self. The little flame of patient rage is quenched and I have my little brain-child to show for my struggle.
My oldest son got married a few weeks ago. He and his enchanting bride asked me to prepare a mom-speech, for the reception. That request and wedding plans came at the same time my mind was stewing on my husband’s birthday song. I have written him one each year since we were dating. That’s 26 birthday songs now. These events and their need for my creativity AND my emotional energy felt overwhelming as I could hardly find the time to pick up my guitar in a quiet moment. Anticipating interruptions makes the attempt to create even more hopeless. So, I collected inspiration over the weeks, I started to establish core messaging, and then one morning I woke before the rest of the house did and I literally went into my little closet/temple/universe hidey-hole and I wrote my heart.
Every time I would try to think about what I might say for the wedding speech, I would find myself seeking distraction. I didn’t want to “Go There” with my emotions. They were too big, too . . . The following is what I wrote, but it wasn’t a speech, it was a song . . . to be sung at the wedding. It also fit perfectly as my husband’s birthday song, as it focused on an important event in our family this year. Here’s my mom-speech/song:
Go There
I can’t seem to write what needs to be written
I can’t find the space in my heart
My thoughts tend to rhyme but somehow they’re hidden
Lost behind something, too raw, too full to see through
I’d rock you for hours and sing my little songs
A concert for one in the nursery
I hoped you’d find the world to be kind
And you wanted just to be close to me
Wait.
If I go there, I might drown in a river of memories
Won’t come up for air ‘til I get my fill of what used to be
For better or worse my first love was you
It’s a brave thing to give your whole heart
We grew up together, discovered the world
Not perfect but not a bad start
Wait.
If I go there, I might drown in a river of memories
Won’t come up for air ‘til I get my fill of what used to be
A break from reality, away from today
A little swim in the past
Breaks through my barricades, opens my view
To find the right words at last
Darling,
Today is clearly a new stream flooding with memories
Where we’ll swim some day in the magic of all that used to be
And I’ll cry, and that’s okay
‘Cause I’ll see you there
It is a privilege and a sweet ache to be an artist, similar to anything else we throw our whole selves into; friendships, parenthood, education, or our profession.
I sang the song, without tears, at the wedding reception. A huge win for me, because in the first few weeks after writing the words I could not make it through the song without sobbing, tears, ugly-crying they call it.
As artists, you know that to allow ourselves to feel so deeply, love so deeply, and share the deepest parts of ourselves with the world is a terrible and wonderfully cleansing cycle. Especially when our offerings are received with love.
Sometimes life happens so hard and fast that we put away our craft, the creativity, that brought us so much life and fulfillment in other seasons. This loss may last years. That’s a long time to wait to breathe.
This coming year, may we experience the joy of breathing, may we be authentic enough to find our tribe, surround ourselves with those who value bravery over perfection, and dive deep into our craft to see what is possible.
2024 Highlights
Visited the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, TN
Recorded 3 original songs
Open Mic Night with my own songs
Writing/Singing a song at my oldest son’s wedding
Husband James retired after 20 years of military service
Hired a world class vocal coach
Learned to use Pro Tools recording software
Started writing a book based on my breast cancer experience
Saved my pennies and bought a new Nord Stage III keyboard
Started a new carpet cleaning franchise Aces Chem-Dry
Recovered from Breast Cancer reconstructive surgery
Added videos to my TikTok with over 109k followers
MJ is a singer-songwriter with an award-winning music video. She is a two-time breast cancer survivor, educator, and public speaker. MJ’s husband, James, retired from the Army in 2023 and they now reside in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. They have five children, own Aces Chem-Dry, a carpet cleaning franchise, and are planning on moving this year to Germany, as James has work opportunities adjacent to the work he did in the Army.
Find MJ:
Website
January Song (Award Winning Music Video)
TikTok
@LifeAfterTheStorm